Struggling to release a past partner stems from the belief that they can give us a feeling that we do not believe we have.
We want the pain to stop, the emptiness to be filled, the thoughts of rejection and self loathing to subside.
We want to prove ourselves as worthy, valuable, sexy, loveable and we think the only way to do this is by ‘winning’ their approval back.
And yet, if we felt totally loved, wanted, desired, met, fulfilled - right now in this moment - we’d be able to let that person go.
We’d no longer want something from them that they are not actually offering.
Because the person you’re chasing is either not willing, not compelled, or not able, to move towards you in love.
They are not wrong for moving away, or for feeling fearful, that is a part of their learning
But attempting to change their state, convince them otherwise, and ultimately force their hand, is going to create resistance and an inward feeling of not being met.
Love doesn’t have to be so difficult, when two people are committed (either romantically or in a friendship) they move towards one another when the going gets rough.
They witness their fear and come back to love.
Every relationship will experience challenges, sometimes those challenges ask us to release and move towards a new lessons, sometimes it calls us deeper into intimacy with our current partner.
If someone is not offering love and connection to you, its your work to offer it to yourself.
When we give to ourselves that which we are seeking externally we will find wholeness once again.
Words @heyheatherobscura .
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